Having cancer is a life changing event that is extremely difficult to overcome. When one of your children is diagnosed with cancer, it can almost kill you to know that there is not much you can do.
I am a cancer survivor, and I know that is was very hard for my family to see how sick I was. Now my stepdaughter has been diagnosed with leukemia, and it was like being kicked in the stomach when I heard the news. It has just been a few days since we found out, so I am still in shock from it all.
Family Nature
When you are dealing with someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer or any other life-threatening disease, be careful what you say to them. It is so hard to find just the right words, so sometimes it is best not to say too much right away. I was tempted to say something to her about not having to worry, because we would find a way to make it all go away, but I know that is not true. I wanted to tell her that we would go to every hospital and spend as much money as it would take to get her well, but that is not the reality of the situation.
So for now she knows that her family loves and supports her, and that she will have the choice of what kind of treatment she gets, and which doctors and hospitals she will go to. This gives her the respect that she deserves and the ability to have control over something that she really has no control over at all. That is the least we can do.
Also, we will not start treating her any differently. There will be no meals delivered, laundry done, or offers to baby sit with the children. That would be insulting and insinuate that she is no longer able to care for her own family. She is still working and wants to be independent. That is the word she used when she told us.
My stepdaughter is a nurse, so she knows what to expect. The rest of us will wait to see what she wants to share with us and wait until she asks before offering any help, whether that be emotional or financial in nature. Just knowing that we are there for her, respecting her decisions in all of this, is the most loving way that we can be there for her during this difficult time in her young life.
Cancer in Your Family - How to Talk to a Family Member Who Has Been Diagnosed With Leukemia
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