Family Relationships

Of all relationships we build in the course of our life, perhaps the most fundamental is that of family. The family relationship is like no other in that often the boundaries are blurred. Whatever family may mean for you, it is precious and serves your growth.

Family embraces multiple-aspect relationships, including:  parent with its child, child with parent, parents with their children, children with parents, parent with their partner as parent, brother with sister and vice versa, and child as one of several siblings. And these are only some of the relationships formed within the nuclear birth family!

From there we find the single parent family relationship, and the family in which each parent has brought to the relationship their children from another union, thus forming a his-hers-ours family. Or perhaps one partner walks into a parental role without actually physically having parented a child at all. And no doubt you can find other examples of how the modern day family constitutes itself.

Multi-generation aspects to family relationships are also vitally important, as many baby boomers are discovering to their delight. Grandparents build uniquely special relationships with grandchildren, and grandchildren with their grandparents. Aunts, uncles, cousins, step relatives - the list goes on. But each of these connections gives us a certain identity, a place of belonging, a home base.

However your family is for you, it is still family; it is the people from whom you can expect unconditional acceptance. Where do you stand in the giving of unconditional love to members of your family?

It is the gift of evolution that we children somehow surpass the boundaries of our parents. If we do not improve our species with every generational step, humanity will never continue to evolve; it will stall and then stagnate.

But always, family relationship, as with any relationship, comes down to connection and love. The differences we inevitably develop as we individually grow into our life purpose, need not divide; they can simply add to the mix that makes family so challenging and yet safe, relaxing and allowing of who and how we are.

Never take your heart away from your parents, brothers or sisters. If you have reason to associate emotional or physical pain with any member of your family, remember, their pain must equal, if not go deeper than yours.

Forgiveness will expand your love and reach over to touch the heart of the person to whom you offer it. Do not deny love and forgiveness to those who have every right, through family, to expect you will always be there for them, no matter what.

And that, in a nutshell, is our definition of family relationship: unconditional love for each other, no matter what differences we may have developed.

You have a clean slate to build new aspects to your experience of family, either by creating your present family as a loving, supportive home base, by your example and presence, or by extending your love to a wider family aspect within the community.

Friendship is similar to family. Always, it is about connection, belonging and above all, love and understanding. So no matter what your family experience has been, you can still make it exactly what you desire. 

In all relationships, it is how we choose to feel that generates for us the experience of love. Where you cannot see love, put love, and you will find love. Perhaps someone in your family is waiting in pain and longing for you to take the first step towards them with arms out-stretched in love and forgiveness. Be that one for them. 

All the love, the unconditional love, you offer to another will come back to you many times expanded, and that same love will fill you with joy, as that is the nature of love. 

Love gives, expands in the giving and expresses as joy. Want more joy? Give more love, for love evolves into love-joy. Want more family? Give more love, for love creates family. Want a home? Give more love, for love is home-coming.

Family has many aspects, as you can see. Relationships within the family are different for each person. But the blessing of family recognition is the unconditional-ness of the love exchanged. Don't look for love, give it, and let love find you. It will!